Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize