I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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