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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
someone owes me an orgasm
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize