one two three fourrrrnication!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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