I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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