i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize