I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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