Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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