i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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