And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
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Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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