I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
this boner is exhausting
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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