I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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