dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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