It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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