Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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