He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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