What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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