you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize