Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize