shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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