is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
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I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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