dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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