It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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