You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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