do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Best friends brother. Beat that.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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