i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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