It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize