I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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