Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
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he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
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We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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