do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
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She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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