You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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