I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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