Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
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Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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