hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize