that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
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He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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