I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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