I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
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He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
where are my eyebrows?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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