Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize