vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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