i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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