it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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