just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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