i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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