Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize