Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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