I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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