My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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