If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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