I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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