just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
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I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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