We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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